The Secret Romances of Under and Overland
by drivenbyrevenge
Summary: Tired of stereotypical couples? I am. Never fear, in this fic, I destroy them all and introduce my random, hat drawn pairings! Nothing is impossible, when I stretch my writing ability to the EXTREME in the name of individuality! Bigger summary inside.
1. Summary

The Secret Romances of Under and Overland.

Chapter One: I Kill All of AIW's Stereotypical Couples.

Summary:

Hellooooo, I'm Drivenbyrevenge your friendly neighbourhood Johnny Depp, AIW and Sweeney Todd fanatic =D

Basically, this fic is a series of mini stories, in which I introduce an extremely strange, non-stereotypical couple, who I then proceed to write a 2-4 chapter story about.

I will literally be pulling these couples from a hat, but if I get an overused one eg Alice and Tarrant, I will redraw one of them.

Will continue until everyone in the hat is used at least once. Obviously, I redraw if I get the same couple twice.

All the characters are going in the hat, which means that sometimes I'll have to work with something very strange, so bear with me, please.

Somehow, I will manage to work with, or find my way around animal/human pairings. e./Bandersnatch…Johnny Depp forbid…

Updates will be fast at first, but may slow down if I lose interest. ONCE AGAIN: BEAR WITH ME!

If ever you come across a couple you don't like, please proceed to put your head under a flamethrower while walking across a bed of nails, because it's not my fault, blame it on the hat.

Guaranteed to be funny, cute, weird and constantly awkward!

Thanks,

Driven.

Oh and one more thing, I lied, I don't even have a hat, I'll be pulling them from a play-doh container =P

**Characters in my play-doh tub are:**

Alice

Tarrant

Absolem

Chessur

Mallymkun

Tweedle Dee

Tweedle Dum

Iracebeth

Mirana

McTwisp

Thackery

Stayne

Hamish

Bayard

Jabberwocky

Bandersnatch

DISCLAIMER: I don't own AIW *tear*


	2. New

The Secret Romances of Under and Overland

Chapter 2: New

**A/N: DOUR FIRST PAIRING IS…..Bandersnatch and Mallymkun! I own nought.**

Bander looked at himself in the shiny waters of the lake, a smile had been firmly plastered across his face after Alice won the battle and he could be free of the red queen's demands, free to do what he wanted, maybe, even, free to fall in love.

Mallymkun looked down at the Bandersnatch as she swung on the tree's branches above him.

She gasped as he seemed to writhe and change…in a matter of minutes he was human-like, 'teen boy-like', even.

But he wasn't human.

His ears were large and pointed, his skin, a strange sepia tone, massive fangs protruded from his mouth, his hair was shoulder length and exactly the colour of the fur of his former self and a matching large strip of grubby white and black fur ran down his back…and yet somehow he didn't look dangerous

Bander swallowed happiness at the sight of his other form. He'd missed looking like his true self, but now that the red queen was no longer forcing him to look fearsome and to attack smaller creatures…now he could look like himself again.

He took a moment to appreciate the scene around him. Lush green grass, which he could feel on his bare feet, he hadn't felt it in a long time, the feet of his other form didn't leave much scope for enjoying the grass. He breathed in the clean, sweet air, the same air had smelt like dust before, and every breath, it seemed, had challenged him.

He cleared his throat, and spoke…nothing poetic, just the words he'd longed to say for what felt like forever, the words he hoped were still true, "I AM BANDER. I belong here_, I BELONG HERE_…"

Mally shivered, from the voice or the wind, she wasn't sure, but she kept looking down, her curiosity refusing to let her ignore the boyish creature beneath her.

He was grateful for the long grass around him, or he'd have been embarrassed, even though there was no one around, of being naked.

Not bothering to look up, he glanced quickly around before diving straight into the lake before him. Mallymkun, had never seen someone naked and she wasn't about to start now, she closed her big eyes and listened to the splashing below.

Bander then did something he'd almost forgotten to do. He laughed. Not a memorable laugh, not a heroic, or a special laugh. Just a laugh. It rang through the trees, he'd once known the names of, but since forgotten…it bounced over the waters and through the whispering grass. Most of all, it spun in his own head, a memory of something long since gone…something he now had back. Freedom.

Mally opened her eyes again, and looked at Bander. In the water he seemed so insignificant…like her…

Only moments ago he'd been a terrifying, huge, monster, capable of tearing her too shreds in seconds…but now, he looked alive, like something with a mind, not just legs and a hunger for flesh.

She leaned forward, trying to get a better view, but he was no-where to be seen…he'd not come up from the water in more than ten minutes.

A rustling in the bushes.

Mally turned her head, to see, on the other side of the lake, a furry stripe sticking up from the shrubs.

Bander stuck his head further into the hole he'd just dug and pulled out a woven basket. He opened it, thanking whoever was listening that he'd remembered where it was buried.

He shook himself dry, something he did with ease after being, basically a giant dog.

Bander pulled on the pants in the basket. They were chocolate brown and went to just below his knees. He smiled at the other article in there…a black beret.

He'd always loved that beret; his mother had made it. The woollen threads were beginning to fray but still it was the thing that sealed the gap between his too selves.

He positioned it carefully over his quickly drying hair and looked at himself in the water.

Mally smiled, she liked that hat…

Bander scraped his nails down his chest, in thought. He wanted to see everyone, he doubted anyone would remember him.

Mally breathed deeply and leaped from the branch of her tree onto the branch of another…this one was directly above the water. She shivered in fear and gripped the limb harder. She squeaked softly as she jumped over to another tree. She had to make her way over two more trees until she was level with Bander.

He stretched his long arms up to the sky and turned his back on the water and walked away

"Curiosity killed the cat…but I'm a DORMOUSE!" she said to herself, before scuttling down the twisted tree trunk and after Bander.

**A/N: Okay, I'm sorry it's short but c'mon, be a rebel, leave a review…I dare you.**is clothes.


	3. YOU!

The Secret Romances of Under and Overland

Chapter 3: YOU!

**A/N: How is it so far? I own nothing :'( **

Mally raced after Bander, completely intrigued. He moved quickly, darting through gnarled trees and jumping over fallen logs and branches.

He reached another stream.

Thud.

He landed on the other side.

Mally watched him race away, methodically running through the obstacles like a trained animal.

"No," She told herself, desperate to keep following him, but afraid of being swept away in the silvery waters, rushing past her.

She dipped her paw into the water and recoiled immediately, it was freezing.

She dug deep inside herself and worked up her courage. She could still hear running in the distance, if she crossed now she'd be able to catch up witrh him…maybe.

Mallymkun tugged hard on her shirt, pulling a thick thread away, once it was long enough she snapped it off and tied one end to a fallen branch near the water's edge and held onto one end, herself.

Water sprayed up in her face as she jumped into the stream, and, gripping the thread with all of her might, desperately crossed the water.

Eventually she reached the other side, the let go of the thread and slapped her paws down hard on the smooth rocks, she pulled herself from the water and listened for Bander in the distance.

Sure enough, she could hear him, far away but still at least he was there.

She started to run, when Mally ran she did it properly, fast.

She ducked her head down, low and her body became the poster for 'streamlined', it was only minutes before she was in sight of Bander again.

"Bander!" She hissed, not certain if she even wanted his attention or not.

Bander turned his head. Had someone called him? He couldn't see anyone, so he slowed down a little and kept walking.

Finally they reached the edge of the forest.

Mally grinned at how close they were to Marmoreal.

She followed him for a little longer, until they reached the entrance to the white queen's domain…then Mally tried again, louder this time.

"BANDER!"

"Huh?" He spun around for a moment before kneeling to the mouse behind him.

"Bander." Mally repeated.

"You!" He put his hand to one of his eyes.

"Hello…"She quivered, nervously.

"You tried to kill me…" He frowned.

"No, you tried to kill ME, I was defending Alice," Mally confirmed.

"But, you took my eye!"

"Alice returned it!" Mally argued.

"Yes…she did." He nodded.

"Are you visiting the Queen?" She frowned.

"Yes…she might be able to help me, to find a home or something…"

"Oh, mind if I tag along?"

"Uh…alright…"

They walked, in silence, Bander in awe of his surroundings, Mally in awe of Bander…for reasons she didn't even know of.

"Mallymkun?" A floaty voice said.

Mirana was alone as she floated, towards them, a smile over her face.

"Majesty," Mally curtsied and nodded at her and then at Bander.

Bander nervously knelt before her, "You honour…I have come to seek forgiveness, for my crimes against you, in my time under the red queen's rule."

"Rise, young Bandersnatch, you've nothing to apologise for, everything you did can be justified…it is purely the fault of my…sister…" She hesitated before saying the last word.

"I have no home, majesty…I wish to have your advice on where I shall live," Bander bit his lip.

"With The 'atter, Thackery and me!" Mally squeaked before she could stop herself.

"Well, there you have it," Smiled Mirana and turned her back.

"WAIT!" Bander shouted.

"Bander, you've been offered a good home, make the most of it, good day," The Queen smiled and walked away.

"Great…" Bander mumbled at Mally.

She smiled, "You'll love it!"

XXXXXX

They reached the home of the hare, to find Thackery talking to the teapot before him, while drinking from a totally empty cup, and the Mad hatter, sitting in his usual spot, mumbling incoherently, with one side of his mouth turned up into a sneer.

"Mally!" Tarrant's mouth turned to a smile as he saw his friend standing on the table, with Bander beside her, "Who is that?"

"I'm Bander…" He mumbled.

"Bander…Bander…BANDERSNATCH!" Tarrant jumped up and looked fearfully at the boy.

"He won't hurt you!" Mally squeaked before sitting across from the hare who was now taking a bite of each cake before throwing it to the side.

Bander raised an eyebrow at them and said, "Hatter, I would gladly tell you my story, but I fear you'd never listen to me…"

Tarrant rolled his green eyes, "No, I don't suppose I would."

"ARGH! Squimberry jam!" The hare threw another cake to the pile of rejects.

"I'll find another place to stay, in the forest perhaps…" Bander turned around and left, slightly smaller than he was before.

"Bander…" Mally frowned, then stared into her teacup and listened to her new friend walk away.

XXXXXX

That night, when her friends were asleep, Hatter in the chair, he never moved from and Thackery by the pile of discarded cakes, Mally went after Bander.

She moved, nervously through the misty darkness, for what must have been at least an hour, before she found him.

An arm hanging from a high branch, a soft crying.

Mally climbed up the tree and crawled over the bare chest of Bander, who was crying. In his sleep.

"Bander!" She hissed.

"Ah!..M..Mallymkun?" He rubbed his eyes at her.

"I came to see you," She smiled, twisting her tail.

"Oh…why?"

"I'm not sure..I like you, Bander…you interest me."

"Oh…"

"Why were you crying?"

"…"

"Well?"

"I was sad…"

"Why?" She asked.

Bander sat up and Mally positioned herself on his knee as he replied, "I'm always sad…lately…"

"I'm sad, a lot, too, Bander…but everything's fine now…you should be happy that you can be YOU again."

"I am happy, I just wished someone understood me…" He looked up to the sky.

"Understood you? Understood the way you feel so small…understood how lonely you get…understood that you hide behind a mask, desperate for someone to take it off of you …I understand, Bandersnatch.

"Mally…" He swallowed back the strange new feeling dancing in his throat.

"Hmm?" She looked up, blushed, looked away again and said, "I understand what it's like to feel the way you do…I want what you want Bander...I just…"

He continued her sentence, knowing what she was going to say, "Want to…"

She smiled up at him, "Be…"

In unison they finished, "Loved."

**A/N: XD I'm Lovin' it, right now! I AM A STARVING HOBO, FEED ME WITH REVIEWS!**


	4. Together

The Secret Romances of Under and Overland

Chapter 4: Together

**A/N: Hey, slaves! :D I think that people thought that the last chap was the final one of Mally and Bander but it wasn't. This one is. I own nought.**

Sometime last night, with Mally curled up on his neck, Bander had fallen asleep. He lazily opened his eyes, and blinked at the white light over them.

The sun.

"Bander?" Mally looked up at him.

"Yes…Mally?" He swallowed.

"Nothing…" She was happy just knowing he was there.

"Okay…" He smiled.

"Bander?" She repeated.

"Yes…Mally?" He laughed.

"Did you mean it?"

"What?"

"That you just want to be…loved?"

"Yes."

Without another look, Mally got up, climbed down, and walked off.

"Mally?" Bander whispered, knowing she couldn't hear him.

XXXXXX

Mally climbed up to her seat and took a sip from her cup, which was already filled with tea.

"Mally? Where've you been?" Tarrant frowned.

"I went for a walk last night when I couldn't sleep…and I uh…must have fallen asleep under a tree!" She laughed, nervously.

"Oh." The hatter nodded and thought nothing more of it.

Mally blacked out the hare's cup smashing against a nearby tree, and the hatter mumbling to his hat.

"Hmmm…." She laid on her stomach and watched the forest's strange gnarled trees sway side to side.

"You're not yourself today, Mallymkun," The hatter's voice shattered her bubble.

"Then who am I?" Mally smiled.

"Not 'erself?," Thackery screeched, "Argh! IMPOSTER!" He smashed one of the many sugar bowls against the tree that Mally was beginning to feel rather sorry for and then he went back to nursing a spoon.

"I just mean you're rather out of sorts…acting sort of strange…"The hatter dusted down his hat and placed it firmly on his bright orange head.

Mally shifted so she was sitting up and looked at the hatter with a very serious expression, "I don't think someone like you should call OTHER people strange."

The two of them burst out into high pitched giggles, Tarrant even dropped to the ground and rolled around, chuckling, whereupon not even the hare's doing a rather ridiculous looking solo cha-cha on the table, with a cake on his head, could interrupt him.

Sometime within this fit of laughter, which, to Thackery seemed to be lasting an awfully long time…even for Mally Tarrant, The Hare turned his eyes to the woods, and saw a dirty white…thing…even a creature of Thackery's low mind power knew at once that it was no other than…Bandersnatch.

He wasn't moving fast, a brisk trot at the most. But Bander's speed increased as he approached…finally he slowed when he reached the long table, a rather annoyed looking hare, a mouse and a red headed, pale man rolling around laughing.

"What's wrong with them?" Bander nodded at the giggling duo.

Ignoring the question, Thackery looked at Bander, "Would you like a scone? With some Jam?" The hare smeared raspberry jam all over a scone and threw it at Bander, getting jam all over his face.

"Mm…lovely," Bander nodded, wiping off the jam.

Finally after what seemed an age Mally and Tarrant stopped laughing. They both sat back up and composed themselves. All would have been fine, had the hatter not asked, "What…were we laughing about?"

Mally stifled a giggle and choked out, "I can't remember!"

The two of them cracked up again.

Bander ran over before they could get to engrossed and said, "Mally!"

"Bander!" Mally turned serious.

Bander's presence had no effect on Tarrant who continued laughing.

"Mally!" Bander repeated and picked her up, and placed her on his shoulder.

The hatter stopped laughing, and got back up.

"AAAARGH MONSTER!" The hat maker fled and was in the top branches of the cup smashing tree within a few seconds.

Mally rolled her chocolate eyes at him, "Pussycat!" She shouted, which sounded rather ridiculous coming from a mouse.

Bander walked off, Mally still on his shoulder.

"Where we going?" Mally mumbled leaning against his neck.

"No idea," He answered.

Both of them laughed.

They walked through the misty woods until they reached one of Underland's nicest spots.

The stream.

This part of it, was thin and mazed in and out through tiny rocks.

Bander sat down and Mally jumped off of him.'

"You think Tarrant'll mind?" Bander whispered.

"Does it matter?" Mally changed her mind about her position and crawled back onto his shoulder.

"No," He looked at her.

Without another word, she leaned over to him and, as difficult as it was, kissed his lips.

A tremble went through him…he'd forgotten what contact felt like…forgotten the wonderful feeling of love.

He kissed her back.

She smiled through his lips and knew one thing was certain…he did love her.

XXXXXX

His green eyes smiled through the whispering leaves of the tree he was situated in.

Mally was like a sister to him and seeing her like this…it almost made him…proud.

Tarrant Hightopp turned around in the branches and faced towards the rest of the forest.

XXXXXX

**A/N: ZE END! MWHAHAHAHA! **

**Sorry for the wait. Your reviews are appreciated. Coming up on ' The Secret Romances of Under and Overland,' another unsuspecting couple gets paired…who will it be? Find out that and more in chapter 5! Coming soon to a computer near you :D :D **

***Disclaimer: (said in extremely fast voice) Chapter may not come soon…chapter is likely to be late due to the writer's laziness.**

**Me: (to mysterious disclaimer) Who the Depp are you?**

**Disclaimer: (silence).**


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